How to Change Minds
“If You Don’t Share Someone’s Pain, You Can Never Understand Them.”
- Pain
For those of you not familiar with Naruto, Pain is a villain who believes pain is the only way humanity can acknowledge and understand the suffering we inflict upon each other.
What does this have to do with changing minds?
About five to six years ago, my parents (young boomers/old gen X) believed modern day public school was phenomenal! The very pinnacle of education! It didn't matter how much evidence, facts, or proof I gave them, they believed what they believed because, back in their day, public school WAS pretty good. Even when I was growing up (early 90's - 2000's) public school wasn't THAT bad (although much worse than my parents time).
At some point, my mom, in her infinite wisdom, decided to start teaching in public schools, and after a good six months, her beliefs had completely changed. Now, she believes public school is a horrible, awful, waste of time. "Kids don't learn anything, its basically babysitting!" she once told me. "There's so much red tape and regulations! If a kid is being disruptive I can't really do anything. I have to call security and they sit down and 'have a meeting' but the parents don't care. No one cares! It practically takes an act of congress to expel or suspend a kid."
She didn't change her mind until she felt the same pain I did. As Pain just said, my mom only understand my hatred of the public school system because she actually SHARED my pain and saw, with her own eyes, how bad the public school system is.
My grandfather did 20 years in the military and retired in the 70's and back then, the military was A LOT different than it is now. My grandmother swears by the military, how efficient it is, how every cares and treats each other like family, how easy it is to get everything done. Keep in mind, the last time she had anything to do with the military was back in the 70's.
My grandfather passed away recently, leaving my grandmother, me, my uncle, and my wife, to deal with his estate. "What happened to respectful, customer service?" my grandmother asked. "Why is everything taking so long? It's only one piece of paperwork!" It only took about two weeks for her to change her mind. Why? because she experienced, for herself, what I've been experiencing the past ten years. The military has changed from the 70's. Now, its a beurocratic machine filled with selfish people looking out only for themselves.
If you want to change someone's mind, you have to bring them into your world, let them share your pain, your experiences, and, on the other side of the coin, if you want to see the world from someone else's point of view, share their pain.
Pain, like a lot of other villains in fiction, have the right idea, but the wrong way to execute it.
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